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29 September, 2009 09:58 (GMT +01:00)
Lock up your children, the "shag band code" scares me to death
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"Shag-bands" are the new menace that we need to all confront

By Douglas MacAndrew

If you happen to have a daughter about to start going out with her friends the report in The Sun about the "Shag Band Code" scares me more than the Iranian missiles tests or the dreaded "swine flu".  I happen to have a daughter I am close to her and would, if anything was to happen to her happily go to prison to protect her, but this new sinister invention of "shag bands" scares me.

My wife always buys my daughter bracelets, and my daughter happily wears them but this new "shag band" sensation apparently implies the following milestones for a girl:

Yellow - Hug a boy
Orange - Give him a love bite
Purple - Full on snog
Pink - Flash your boobs
Red - Lap dance
Blue - oral sex
Black - Go all the way
Gold - All of the above

So that you know my daughter is only six and since finding out about these wretched "bands" I have nevertheless banished them from our home and I encourage all sensible parents to do the same.  Reading the report apparently if the child has one of the bands removed from her hand by another she must perform the act.  Are schools aware of this new menace?

We have too much, too early stuff on "childrens tv" watched it recently, yes it shocks me too.  

Moreover this country has allowed its children to grow up too quickly, and has allowed drugs and alcohol to become too readily acceptable, because middle class parents want to become friends with their children.  Goto Muswell Hill or Crouch End and see the kids of the trendy left smoking and drinking and thinking it’s so "cool".  Well its not, and we must start becoming parents and less friends.  

It’s not the government job to legislate on effective ways to raise children but its up to parents to ask their children what they are doing, who they are with and what time they are coming home.  If they are late or are acting suspicious then do something!

photo credit: Urban Dictionary


 
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